A Parasocial Interaction of a Lonely Simp: What’s Next?

Simps. They are known as people who would fawn over a person with high amounts of unwavering dedication and adoration—almost borderline obsessive. It is also the modern-day version of admiring someone or having an ultimate crush. You’d regularly see them on most social media outlets such as Instagram, Twitter, Fansly, OnlyFans—and live-streaming sites like Twitch, and YouTube.

According to the Singapore Management University (SMU), the word simp originated from the word “simpleton,” which relates to a foolish or gullible person. The article describes simping as a person engaging in extremely costly or extravagant romantic gestures towards a person of interest, often in a desperate and obsessive manner, and generally being met with little to no reciprocation.

Some people even simp offline, but the difference here is that it doesn’t feel parasocial at all. It may be one-sided, but at least the person being simped on acknowledges the person simping for them. You’d regularly see it from men trying to woo their dates by love-bombing them with expensive gifts or dates.

Anybody can simp for anybody. Simping for someone nowadays has been universally accepted. Everybody simps on someone they’ve admired a lot. But some take it to extremes. Back in the heyday of the Craigslist personals, men would flock to the dating section to chat with women. However, real Craigslist single ladies were hard to find, so men end up simping on women they have virtually no chances of ending up together with.

The Problem With Most Simps

The simps we mentioned are the casual kinds. People who are overly affectionate, but still have control of their lives. But some people take simping way too far, to the point where they end up using most, if not all, of their life savings on someone who hardly knows they exist.

This parasocial relationship is a danger to the simp’s livelihood. But they do it anyway because a lot of them are unable to control their need for attention and validation. Understandably, some of these simps grew up in a parasocial interaction with their environment, especially in school.

They likely grew up as the “filler” of the classroom, the guys who make the bus full—the NPCs (non-playable characters) in gaming terms. But should that excuse them from giving their life and money away to some person online who doesn’t even know they exist?

Sure, some can afford to spend extra cash because their cash flow is consistent and abundant, but the point is that they’re spending it on donations to their favorite streamers or internet personalities, who barely notice them. In short, they’re engaging in an unhealthy, unrealistic relationship.

An Unknowing Parasocial Interaction

Simping and parasocial relationships can happen to anyone. At one point in your life, you may have unknowingly experienced this. To get a grip of the issue, we gathered testimonies from men we’ve talked with. This story stood out to us.

“I’ve been single for a long while, and there was a time when I was a big fan of this model and I subscribed to her OnlyFans. I paid $200 for a 1-year subscription, thinking it would get her attention and talk to me. To be fair, she’s a blonde bombshell—28 years of age, the perfect body ratio, and has all the features I want in a woman.

I’ve been divorced since 2013, and I haven’t found a woman who would marry me. When I was introduced to OnlyFans by a coworker of mine, I thought maybe this would be my chance to date someone. Her profile said something about tipping a certain amount for a request that would get her to chat, so I did. I tipped her $10, and all of a sudden she replied!

My heart was beating fast—A beautiful woman was sending me messages! We get to talking, and all of a sudden, she gets a little sensual. My heart was beating fast. I felt like my teenage self, waiting to be kissed by a girl. We mostly talked for a few days until I started telling her that I adored her.

She told me that if I liked and commented on all her posts, she would send me something. I was rushing to finish everything. I showered her posts with comments saying she’s beautiful and amazing. I showed screenshots to prove I liked and commented on all her posts. She then sent me a teasing selfie of her. ‘If you want something better than that, you can tip me a hundred dollars and you’ll get to see more of me.’

Because I tipped her with a gracious $200, she gave me explicit photos and videos of herself. I was bedazzled. She then told me that if I tipped a thousand dollars (€900), she would jump on a video call with me. I thought to myself, that seems too expensive for a video call, but I’m comfortably stable enough, so I gave in. She said she was happy, and promised to schedule a video call with me a week from then.

A week passed and we were still talking to each other. I asked her if she was ready to call, ‘I’ve been a little busy because a lot of people also requested a video call with me,’ she said. I was heartbroken, but I half expected that because a lot of people also wanted her attention. So I impulsively sent another thousand dollars to tell her that I meant business, and I wanted to have that video call with her. She promised she would call me next week through Skype.

Another week passed—nothing. No call, no messages. I took to the internet to see if there were people who had gone through the same thing as me. And what did you know? People are saying that these kinds of models are managed by modeling agencies and that the ones handling the accounts messaging subscribers like me are not the models, but freelance workers from around the world.

There were too many similar experiences. I was foolish. I spent at least $2000 on someone who was never there. I don’t even care about how much I lost, but the fact that someone got me into a one-sided interaction thinking that I made a connection with her—it was all a lie. I was too attracted, blinded by her beauty, to see that I was scammed. I thought she was real. But all this time, she never even knew me.” - Geovanni “Geo”, 58

Real Love is Better Than Simping Online

Geo is not a lone victim of such romance scams. Many others are content with a parasocial interaction with women they’ll never meet in person. We were surprised to hear his story. So, instead of having to deal with this kind of scam, why not join a matchmaking service where you can meet real, beautiful women you can interact with?

Sites like Craigslist Philippines, Twitch, or OnlyFans seem too out of reach for the common man; they promote a parasocial interaction between women and men.

Unlike these sites, Davao Women offers matchmaking services to help you find your dream partner. We will ensure that your energy is reflected in our wide array of single women, ready to show you love and admiration. So if ever you find yourself engaging in a parasocial interaction with someone who doesn’t know you exist, just know that there are actual women who would love to be praised, to love, and to be loved. You can find them here.