A Reality Check on “Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater”
“They cheated once. They will do it again.”
You often hear this warning from your friends when you start dating someone who has a history of cheating.
Then it gets you thinking, “Can people really change, or is there a hidden truth to the idea that once a cheater, always a cheater?”
This old saying is often the centerpiece of big arguments. It makes us think about how people act, trust, and whether they can make up for their mistakes.
When we dig deeper, we find that relationships and personal growth are complicated. We wonder if forgiving someone is possible and if what they did in the past will always shape their future.
What It Means & What People Say
The saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” suggests that if someone cheats in a relationship, they’re bound to do it again.
But is this really the case?
Relationship experts and psychologists have varying opinions on this matter.
Some argue that past behavior is a strong predictor of future actions. They believe that if someone has cheated before, they’re more likely to do it again because it becomes a pattern of behavior for them.
In a University of Denver article, Kayla Knopp, a researcher specializing in romantic commitment, said in her Once a Cheater Always a Cheater study that our romantic histories can greatly influence our future relationships.
However, others believe that people can change. They argue that labeling someone as a perpetual cheater based on one mistake is unfair.
They believe that people are capable of learning from their past mistakes, growing as individuals, and building healthier relationships in the future.
Why a Cheater May Cheat Again
Someone who cheated before might do it again because they haven’t worked out their problems. They might feel unhappy or disconnected in their relationship, or they could be dealing with past issues that are still bothering them.
Another possible reason is that they might not be great at talking things out or solving problems with their partner. Instead of dealing with issues in a healthy way, they resort to cheating to avoid facing their problems.
Then there are those who cheat again because they like the thrill or attention they get from someone new. This could be because they don’t feel good about themselves, have issues getting close to someone, or they’re just looking for something different in their love life.
Even though these reasons can lead someone to cheat again, it’s crucial to know that cheating is never okay, no matter the reason or the circumstances. Instead, strive to build strong and faithful relationships by being with each other, trusting one another, and working together to solve problems.
Reality Check
Once a cheater, always a cheater, is that true?
In reality, we can’t know for sure if someone who cheated will do it again. While their past actions might give us a hint, it’s not always a given.
People are complicated. What they do is influenced by lots of things like where they are, what they’re going through, and how they’re feeling.
But what’s sure is that people are capable of changing. Someone who cheated before might have learned from it, grown, and realized how bad it was. They might really want to be better in future relationships and do things differently.
For some people, the reasons they cheated might still be a problem, even if they want to change. These people might need more help getting to the core of those problems and stop cheating again.
For me, one key factor in determining whether a person will repeat their infidelity is their willingness to address the underlying issues that led to the cheating in the first place.
This might involve therapy, honest communication with their partner, and a commitment to personal growth.
If these steps are taken, it’s possible for a person who has cheated to change their ways and build a more trusting relationship in the future.
In a nutshell, there might be truth to the saying that once a cheater, always a cheater, but with a person’s willingness to change and become a better partner, it can also be refuted.
Reference
“Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? DU Study Examines Serial Infidelity.” 2018. University of Denver.
https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study-examines-serial-infidelity.
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